Episode Summary
In this episode of The Cool Grandpa Podcast, I sit down with Helen Ellis, author and researcher specializing in distance families—families spread across cities, countries, and continents.
Drawing from her personal experience and groundbreaking research, Helen shares how grandfathers can build meaningful, lasting relationships with their grandchildren—even when separated by thousands of miles and multiple time zones.
From practical strategies to emotional truths, this conversation explores how intentionality, empathy, and consistency can transform distance into a deeper connection.
Key Takeaways
- Distance doesn’t weaken relationships—lack of intentionality does
- Grandfathers play a powerful (often unseen) emotional role in family connections
- Small, consistent efforts matter more than grand gestures
- Adult children are the “gatekeepers” of connection in distance families
- Grandchildren often carry deep, lifelong memories of their grandparents—whether expressed or not
- Technology is a tool, but presence and effort are what truly matter
- Families with added challenges (ADHD, disabilities, etc.) require empathy, not assumptions
Topics Covered
- What defines a “distance family”
- The different types of distance grandparenting situations
- The role of grandfathers vs. grandmothers
- Emotional realities of long-distance relationships
- Insights from adult grandchildren
- “Squirreled away love depositories” (lasting memories)
- Supporting grandchildren with additional needs from afar
- The importance of empathy across generations
- Building a legacy despite physical distance
Resources & Links
- Helen Ellis’s work on Distance Families: https://www.distancefamilies.com/
- Her book series:
- Being a Distance Grandparent: https://www.distancefamilies.com/being-a-distance-grandparent2.html
- Being a Distance Son or Daughter: https://www.distancefamilies.com/being-a-distance-son-or-daughter2.html
- Being a Distance Grandchild: https://www.distancefamilies.com/being-a-distance-grandchild1.html
- Follow Helen by using this link: https://www.distancefamilies.com/follow.html
- Support the show:
- Cool Grandpa Bookstore: https://cool-grandpa.us/shop/
- Buy Me a Coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/coolgrandpa
- Watch the episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/QX6Xs76OZXM
More Than Grand 
Grandfathers have a unique and meaningful role to play in grandchildren’s development, yet they often find themselves behind the scenes, on the sidelines, or less engaged than they’d like to be. This masterclass delivers a playbook for helping grandfathers level up their influence and impact. Listeners to The Cool Grandpa Podcast can receive 40% off this course by using Cool40 at checkout.
Founded in 2011 by Aaron Larsen as a way to honor his grandparents, GrandparentsAcademy.com is the world’s first and only online academy dedicated to helping grandparents grow meaningful relationships and rich legacies with their loved ones.
