EP – 46 Be careful with Labels

Our Monthly One on One

Dear Mr. Venon. We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basketcase…a princess…and a criminal.

– Closing monologue, The Breakfast Club (1985)

I love this movie. You can tell that I am a member of Gen X. One of the reasons I enjoy this movie is the lesson of how labels, while sometimes useful, can place people in boxes that is hard for them to get out of. At least in our perceptions of who we think they are.

In this one-on-one conversation, I talk about how grandfathers should avoid using labels when it comes to thinking and talking about their grandchildren. While labels can quickly convey a lot of information in a few words, it limits the person to that one label in our own thoughts.

Talking about or describing attributes within a context or setting is a much better way to think or talk about our grandchildren. Where labels can carry a fixed meaning, discussing attributes lets us talk and think about the parts of the personality or skills that the grandchild has compared to just thinking of them in one term.

Thinking and speaking about our grandchildren’s attributes allow them to grow and develop in our minds and does not keep them locked in as only one personality type or on a set of physical attributes.

While labels themselves are not good or bad, I would like to challenge the grandfathers and grandparents to be careful and avoid using labels and shift to thinking about and discussing the attributes that we want to praise or brag on. By shifting to calling out the attributes to describe our grandchildren, we allow them to evolve, grown, explore, and not stay fixed. After all, these precious little gifts are constantly changing and challenging themselves and their environments.

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EP – 24 The importance of growing your relationship with your grandchildren

My conversation with Alexis Wynne

In this conversation, Alexis helps us understand the importance of growing with your grandchildren. We mean by this, and what Alexis helps to explain is that as our grandchildren grow and develop, it is important to recognize them at each development stage. This may seem like a “no duh” idea, but as parents and grandparents, it can be tricky to know when to adjust the relationship and how we interact with our grandchildren.

As much as we want to keep hanging on to those grandbabies, they eventually become teenagers (smelly and full of attitude) and then young adults. The expectations and interactions that we have with them at these life stages will impact our relationship with our grandchildren. Alexis shares how her cool grandpa adjusted the relationship to treat her as a growing young woman and not a little kid.

Alexis also shares the important traditions that her grandfather headed up while she was young and living in California. We learn how camping in the summer and progressive Christmas dinners made for loving and lasting memories.

We also learn that Alexis had a grandfather who was not so close to the family but made an effort to be present at birthdays and occasionally stop by for pie. These little gestures and the acts of showing that he wanted to be involved in his grandchildren’s lives laid a foundation for a growing relationship in their later years.

Alexis is a super go-getter and is a busy young mom with a fun business selling fun jewelry. Please check out the links below if you are looking for some interesting pieces as gifts for a loved one or yourself.

Alexis’ email is [email protected]

The web is https://paparazziaccessories.com/409101/

https://www.facebook.com/popandlocketwithalexis